This is the beginning of Anything you want.

Background:

Hi, I am 24 and 9 months. I now teach in a secondary school in Borneo, Malaysia. Having started my first job only about 9 months ago, I realise I am a little late on schedule. I grew up in a middle class family or maybe a lower-middle class? (mom said we didn't have Astro until I was 9). My parents worked extremely hard (sometimes 13hours a day) to give us three the comfortable lives we didn't do anything to deserve. Like they said, the baby bloomers are the most hard-working generation and we do what we do best - the Y generation. Also, I have enjoyed free education including a fully sponsored degree programme in the UK. When I graduated, a job came knocking on my door. So to sum up, my life was pretty easy, at least up to this point.  Now, I am sharing this for a couple reasons:

1. I thought life would then go on to be easy like how it used to be. Don't get me wrong. I am doing all right at the moment. Got a job. Got some steady income. However, I do feel that the way I grew up and how well I was protected did make me a little unfit for the real world. Like in my twenties I finally realised people do have to queue for hours for a doctor appointment. My mum worked in the hospital, I used to get the fast track.
2. I want to admit that I've been lazy on taking the responsibilities of my life. Yes I stopped taking my parents' money after high school, or maybe a little bit later. Yes I worked part time to support my own traveling addiction. I did get them some nice stuff and sent them postcards and all. But as much as I want to deny that, I do wish I was aware that I could have done more, that I was capable of more.
3. Regardless, I do appreciate everything my parents have given me. They gave us every best thing they could have, they have even sacrificed their best years for us, and that's something I am not sure I myself can commit to.
4. I want to make a change. I don't want to settle with what I have now. There is nothing wrong with what I do now. Its just less exciting. Less challenging. I am young. I want to draw my future, test my limit. So I took in Tim Clark's advise, I may not know what I want to do yet. but I want to do this now. I want to build some hypotheses. I want to run some fun tests.

Here is a link to Clark's TEDx talk if you're interested.

So,

Here's the first thing I decided to do,Start a blog. A New One.

Today I took some painful time to shove all my previous entries into the drafts box for four reasons:

1. They needed to be gone. They were terribly awful to read. On one to ten. Language level: 3. Content level : 2. Yes. That bad. But I didn't want to delete them because they remind me of how far I've come.
2.  I hope to use this platform to record what I think might be the new me. I have recently reflected on what I do and I would like to make some changes to it. More exactly, to create something for myself. So I thought this could be my first step. To keep me up and running. To discipline myself. 
3.  I'd like to see for myself the power of the world wide web. I realise though I had been a disastrous blogger. (been inactivate for 4 to 5 years and the best article was probably about the snow I first saw), I had had a couple hundred views in the past years. From who? Hence, I aim to get connected with more beautiful people who share the same passions or taste on jumper and shorts. 
4. And if the third one works out and I do manage to get connected with a good number of people. The forth one will be a new approach I am testing on. It is to ask people for favour, for suggestions, for opinions, for advice and frankly just to have someone to chitchat with really. So, if you find the 'stuff' that I talk about interest you. I welcome you, I ask you, to leave a comment, to follow my blog. They said two heads are better than one?

That's another interesting idea I got from Amanda Palmer. She shares about the art of asking here. She also has a book which I cannot afford to buy and ship from the UK yet. And I can't find it in Malaysia. So I guess I just have to wait a bit.

Meanwhile,

What I aim to do in this re-setup :

1. I do something
2. I take/make life hypotheses based on what I hear, what I see, what I've done or even what I dream.
3. I do something
4. If it works, Voilà! Write a new entry. If it doesn't. Go back to step 1.

The idea is pretty easy. I pretty much am just making myself to do something out of my comfort zone every now and then. Of course they will be within my ring of interests.

What I've done so far:

1. For kick start, I took the initiative to give out contacts to college students for any potential assignment help for extra cash. Introvert like me sucks at standing at the front line and making the talk. It actually took me a few rounds of circling the same route, and playing the talk in my head for  countless times before I had the courage to get off my car and walked in to the office. As you could have possibly guessed, the talk was short and easy. People were so nice that I wish I hadn't worried the uneccesary as well as the misery I had to go through.
2. The second thing I did was to call up a student's parent to promote a tuition class that I intend to run during the Nov-Dec break. I would like to test the water and get to know why are people so interested in running classes. Many say it is easy money. The more students the merrier. Is that so ? I have always avoided doing this. I always thought there is something better for me to do, there is something more meaningful out there. and I always ended up doing nothing. I don't want to be the choosy Y-gen. Now I decided to give it a try. For people whose stand is to 'know what you want', 'do what you like', you are probably not gonna like it. So I am doing this, I would love some extra cash. I want to know why it is such a popular thing to do around here. How can it help me be better? Where can I go from there?

What I believe at the moment:

1. Interesting things are often uncomfortable to start/do. Be aware that these things take conscious effort to begin or to maintain.
2. Many people start off doing a lot of things and then they end up with that one thing they excel in. This is convenient for me to slip in a popular quote here by Drew Houston from Dropbox 'Don't worry about failures, you only have to be right once.' However, the question here is , do you try many different things and wait for the right moment to come? Or you focus on one thing with different approaches until you get it right. I don't feel the need to choose a side now as I think what I am doing is relevant to my profession and I could use some new experience dealing with different target groups. So I am just gonna conclude here doing something is better than not doing anything.

What I think I could do more:

1. Keep reaching out for more resources. Talk to new people, talk to colleagues, talk to old friends, talk to the school cleaners, talk to yourself.
2. It is important to stay on track. Unlike Tim I do think some thoughts on career planning will always be helpful.

signed.
g